I didn’t have to dine and dash

Originally published on June 6, 2007.

Since he left the flat, Ovidiu has been acting as if he had no money for food. I knew he had a 2000 Kč biznis the other day and I saw his big wad, so it made me think that perhaps the girl he’s been fucking the last couple of days was a prostitute herself. Plus, he regularly sends money back to his mom in Romania.

However, he just bounded in here [Modrá Lavička, where else, where I had intended on dining and dashing] — without Gay Dominik — and said: “I think when I go out I do not want to take 1000 boys with me.”

I said, “Uh, ok…”

And then he said, “What you want to eat?”

I just stared at him. After feeling the panic of not having anything to eat I didn’t know what to say.

“So you do have money?” I asked.

He replied, “I tell you: I do not like going some place with 1000 boys.”

“So you just said that in front of Dominik so you wouldn’t have to pay for his meal?”

Ovidiu just looked at me, smiled and said, “What do you want to eat?”

When the two plates of smoked drumsticks and mashed potatoes came, I said, “My god. I’m so hungry I could eat pussy.”

After which Ovidiu fell out! 

“You make me smile,” he said, in between sputters.

“No, you make me smile,” I said, picked up the chicken leg and shoved it in my mouth.

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