Oh For Fuck’s Sake: Tell-All Part 466

AJ: I hope you are feeling better.

GB: I feel better, yeah. I also ate something, so…

I’m going to ask something…I’m almost afraid to ask…

Shoot.

Well, what about, what about your other friends. I already know about your family but what about your other friends? Have they contacted you? Are they reading this?

I have no idea if they’re reading this. I can see statistics in WordPress so I know people from all over are reading this but you know…only one friend that I met here has contacted me and, uh, she’s contacted me twice…and she has to be one of the kindest and funniest and warmest people I’ve ever met and she’s also non-judgmental person, you know, which is pretty much a requirement to be my friend anyway. [laughs]

And a very old and dear friend from Chicago has contacted me and my dear friend Steve, who’s going through his own shit right now, whom I’ve known longer than anyone, I think…no, no one else. I…

I’m not going to ask you how you feel about that because I can imagine. I know how I feel about that. Ummm, and [turns away from computer and says loudly] D. can you come here a minute please?

D. wanted me to tell you he’s thinking of you but I think he should tell you himself.

OK…

[edited]

Well, that was difficult.

We have followed your adventures literally for years and he is a much less outgoing person than me but I thought you might like to hear what he has to say. I hope that was of some small comfort.

That meant a lot actually. Um, I have heard from people out of the blue over the years who have read my Prague blogs, and from all over, you know, people whose background I would not have expected to be sympathetic or even interested to… in that. But I had the same experiences in Prague, too, when people who read the blog would come and meet me and they would be surprised that they got along with me. A lot of them were afraid to meet me and uh…[laughs]

I think rhetorically and on [airquotes] paper I’m much more fierce than I am in person, when I really just want to…drink and have fun, you know?

I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to do that. I don’t drink anymore but I would have had fun watching you drink with the boys.

[laughs] I’m sorry, too, um, probably the only thing that…the only kind of person I just can’t tolerate are racists, you know, I just… I won’t even sit next to a racist, And it would have been kind of difficult to meet me in Prague without hanging out with a bunch of gypsies anyway so, yeah… [laughs] I also hated the types, the johns who always have to show off their money or who showed contempt for the boys. I hated those bastards.

I always thought your loyalties were with the boys.

That’s very true, very true.

Anyway, anyway…what else?

Well, I had this idea I would talk to you about sex.

Oh, really…?

Yes, I…

Do go on.

You seem like a very sexual person so…

Well, I used to be.

Right. But, what about your past? Were you always so, uh, voracious?

[laughs] No. Um, and probably in the same way that people are surprised that I went to Bible college, people are surprised when I say I was a virgin until I was 22 and in college. I…

Yes, that does surprise me.

I thought it might but…

Was it the church thing?

Um, no, I don’t think so. I just… of course, I masturbated a lot, like most boys, I guess. A lot of my childhood memories that I still have are about great orgasms from masturbating so…

[laughs]

Really! So yeah the erotic has fired my imagination from a very early age. I was strongly attracted to wrestlers, you know, like pro wrestling and when I finally got a TV in my room, it was great because I could masturbate in peace watching pro wrestling on TV.

What was it about wrestling that attracted you?

Um, the push and pull, the mock violence, the flexing, the showing off, a hot muscular guy getting humiliated and beaten to a pulp, so to speak. [laughs] I found and still do find dominance and submission very very erotic and without that, without those elements, even in just your normal porn, I can’t get off. I mean, hell, watching the Lone Ranger fight the bad guy was masturbation material for me.

[laughs]

Yeah, those tight pants and shirt he wore and fighting the bad guy and sometimes losing and then winning and all that rolling around and grunting. Yeah, that was it for me. And I still feel the same. I jack off to wrestling now. far more than I jack off to, uh, run of the mill fuck-porn.

Wrestling without sex?

Yeah. There is wrestling marketed to gay men so it has all the characteristics, all the stuff that gets me off, like…uh, all these submission holds that put the hot guy in a position where his crotch and his muscles and the beauty of his body are all on display but he’s helpless and has to beg for mercy. Very hot.

This is fascinating to me.

Is it? [laughs] Of course, on some level it’s really silly but maybe that’s part of the appeal, that it’s fake, that it’s a ritual of some sort complete with costumes and a uniform. For instance, although I think the men of MMA and boxing are hot and beautiful, and watching the matches that are real is arousing, I don’t masturbate to them. So there has to be some level of stylization for me to be interested in a purely erotic way. Not always, but usually.

Interesting.

Yeah, I guess. It wasn’t until the Internet that I realized that there were gay men just like me into the same thing. There are a lot of companies that produce this sort of stuff and some that create matches that end up in some kind of overt sexual scenario with orgasms and everything, but I find that less interesting than just the plain ol’ wrestling. Usually the sex parts of those videos are boring. Except for Naked Combat. In those, I skip the boring wrestling part, which is more straight forward and rather inept, and go straight to the fucking which is usually rough with the winner fucking the hell out of the loser, with some punching and slapping and choking, which usually makes me cum.

[laughs] I’m amazed by this. You never wrote about this on the Prague blogs.

No, I guess I didn’t but, well, I was fucking boys whenever I wanted and I guess I had less interest in wrestling. I did hire muscular boys just to flex and jack me off though. There was this Polish boy…he was quite good at it and it would make him laugh to see me so turned on when he flexed his biceps. He was great. Gabriel. He had a big ugly Alien tattoo on his chest. That was a powerful moment for me…

What was?

Hiring a boy to flex for me. I had always been too embarrassed to ask for that in the States.

I have a hard time imagining you being embarrassed, GB.

[laughs] I can understand that. But when I got to Prague and had access to all these mostly straight boys with hot bods and I always had them flex for me. It always made them laugh and have fun, you know? Dudes like to show off even with other dudes, and maybe even especially with other dudes. And I don’t mean the musclebound whores at places like Escape or even Pinocchio but just the normal young guys with nice athletic, natural bodies. Although there was this short, hot gypsy boy who went to the gym a lot, wrestler-type. Jesus, he was amazing. I was really infatuated with him.

I think maybe I remember him.

Yeah, I wrote about him a lot. He was the first boy who stole from me.

[laughs]

But he wasn’t the last.

[edited for length]